PathIvy Blog

UCLA Essay Guide

Written by PathIvy Admin | Nov 5, 2022 4:00:00 AM

Personal Academic Introduction

 

Hey there, I'm Nick! In high school, I earned a 4.8049 weighted academic gpa, a 4.7174 total gpa, and a 4.0 unweighted gpa. My SAT score was 1560 with a perfect score on the math section, and I received a 33 on the ACT. I also received an 800 on the SAT Mathematics Subject Test and a 780 on the SAT Biology E Subject Test. I completed 13 AP classes and took 12 AP tests. My AP scores included five 5s, six 4s and one 3. These scores earned me the AP Scholar With Distinction Award in 2019 and 2020, as well as the National AP Scholar Award in 2020. Other than classes, in high school, I was Co-Captain of the Debate Team, Vice President of the National Honor Society (NHS), President of Global Aid, and Treasurer for the Thirst Project. I was also a 4-year Varsity athlete for the Men's Volleyball team and earned All-League honors as well as Offensive MVP my junior season (unfortunately, my senior season was cut short due to the COVID-19 pandemic). Furthermore, I was an Eagle Scout and completed over 200 hours of community service through Boy Scouts and other school organizations. 

I am currently a third-year Molecular, Cell and Developmental Biology (MCDB)  major at UCLA. I am involved in Grace on Campus (a Christian organization), conduct research at Zhen Laboratory, and serve as the Director of Client Relations for APA Health C.A.R.E. I am involved in basketball and volleyball IM Sport leagues and have been spending my free-time learning about photography and exploring Los Angeles and its neighborhoods. 

 

 

University Introduction

UCLA was founded on May 23, 1919, signed into bill by Governor George C. Perkins. With the motto “Let there be light”, UCLA has emphasized its pursuit of knowledge since its origin. UCLA has amazing opportunities for people in STEM and humanities majors alike. UCLA is a public research university that prioritizes undergraduate research. With enough initiative and discipline, conducting research as an undergraduate is quite likely. Furthermore, UCLA is right next door to the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center and the David Geffen School of Medicine, providing students with many opportunities to get directly involved in the medical field and build relationships with people in my potential field of work. The humanities at UCLA offers a diverse array of classes that allow students to explore unique perspectives and culture from renowned professors and faculty. 

Apart from the professional opportunities UCLA offers, the campus is beautiful and robust. The UCLA community is welcoming to people of all backgrounds, and organizations are constantly engaging the student body by handing out flyers, visiting classrooms, and hosting events in the central Bruin Plaza. With Westwood within walking distance, students do not feel confined to the campus and are able to explore as much as they are willing to walk. To top it all off, UCLA has the number 1 best dining halls in the country with 3 main dining halls and 4-5 take out places - depending on availability of staff. 

The Molecular, Cell and Developmental Biology major is a specialized field of biology that focuses on life processes through a molecular lens. The major encourages students to get involved with research to fully delve into the complexities of molecular biology and learn in a hands-on environment. The requirements for this major are flexible and allow students to focus on specific topics of molecular biology that they find more interesting and are even welcome to take elective upper division classes from other majors. 

 

 

Admission and Student Body Statistics

UCLA is a diverse campus where it is common to meet people with vastly different backgrounds than yourself. People come from all over the world to attend this prestigious university. It is important to note that these statistics should not be used as an indicator of your likelihood of getting into the school, because UCLA prides itself on its holistic application process. 

 

 

 

Application Process

The application will open on August 1st and is available to submit from October 1 to November 30. The application will ask for information including your transcript, test scores, annual income, social security number, citizenship status, California ID (if possible), and Credit Card number to pay for the application fee which is $70 for US residents. Luckily, this steep application fee may be avoided with fee waivers for qualified students. Submitting the transcript and letters of recommendation is separate from submitting the general application so it is imperative to submit both in a timely manner. The deadline to submit the FAFSA, Dream Act, or Cal Grant forms is March 2. Admission notifications will be released in late March of the next year. 

Each application is reviewed through a combination of academic achievements, extracurricular involvement, leadership, personal life and unique circumstances. It is a holistic application process meaning that it is of utmost importance to show your unique self in your essays so that you personalize yourself to the reviewers. The people reviewing your application want to see if you are a student that can positively contribute to the campus which includes factors such as academics, personal valor, creativity, athletics, altruism, etc. It is important to note that SAT and ACT scores are no longer considered in the application process. 

 

 

Essay Prompts

UCLA offers 8 possible short essay questions that have a 350 word limit. Each applicant only submits responses to 4 of these questions, giving students the flexibility to choose which essay fits them the best. Listed below are the essay prompts from my application year (2020). 

 

  1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.  
  2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.
  3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?
  4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
  5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
  6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. 
  7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?  
  8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

 

 

Example Essays

As a preface, I do not think any prompt holds more weight than another. When I was choosing the prompts, I selected the ones that resonated with me the most and which ones would allow me to best portray myself to the application reviewers. 

 

Prompt #4: Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

My Response: During my internship with Dr. Howard Hodis at the USC Keck School of Medicine last summer, I experienced science in a professional setting. In this laboratory, a fermented bean, an ordinary and simple food, was making its way into the medical world by helping with cholesterol management. This development opened my mind to the idea that common medical complications such as poor eyesight could be improved upon or remedied with similar research. My passion for medical research was engendered by the thought of becoming part of a community that may one day help my friends and family, who have been afflicted by visual disorders, through groundbreaking research comparable to that of my internship. I believed the extent of beans was nutrition, but my research demonstrated the merit of investigating the ordinary in addition to the unknown.

I have always been curious about the world around me, yet the grade-based structure of secondary education  resulted in my pursuit of grades instead of genuine interest. In high school, my focus was consistently on the next exam or assignment, leaving little time for me to explore my passions.  

During the first day of my internship, I asked my supervisor, “When is this study over? When will the results come in?” She chuckled and told me that I would never enjoy research if I am always looking forward to the end result without enjoying the process of research. As I started to learn more about the equipment, I was intrigued. For example, when I first operated an automated analyser to help technicians record blood samples, my curiosity overtook me. I suddenly desired to try every piece of equipment in the laboratory to test the limits of what I could do and what I could learn. 

When I witnessed the practical implications of education right before my eyes, I came to appreciate how much more of the world there is to explore. This opportunity has revitalized a child-like wonder about both the known and unknown world around me, and I have grown excited to learn again and immerse myself in its mysteries. 

 

  • I chose to answer this question because it allowed me to talk about my experience working in a research laboratory at Keck School of Medicine and the unique perspective it gave me. This essay allowed me to talk about how curiosity and fascination with the world around me has influenced my life. 
  • This was a unique question to show that I am interested in learning about the world around me and that I recognize that there is always something new to learn. I was able to demonstrate how my natural curiosity manifested itself in the workplace and in future professions. For an academic institution, I would imagine that it is important to admit students who are genuinely interested in learning, whether it is in school or extracurricular opportunities. I tried to be as specific as possible to, once again, humanize myself and show that I am more than just another applicant. I also tried to emphasize that my passion lies with science because of my curiosity and interest in how the world works. 

 

Prompt #5: Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

My Response: I wanted to become the best, but I never felt as if  I could measure up to this person I wanted myself to be. I had this image of myself as a perfect person that could easily make friends and effortlessly excel at academics and sports. This unrealistic expectation resulted in my inability to confront my inadequacies. Instead of studying and focusing on school, I would often sit in my chair and try to ignore my thoughts. I was paralyzed by a fixed mindset. The desire to study, but the inability to clear my mind of these destructive thoughts produced inconsistent study habits in my early high school years. 

When my parents bought me a ukulele, I immediately began to learn songs I had grown up loving. As I expanded upon my musical abilities, I decided to try my hand at original songwriting. Although the songs I wrote were simple, the creative alchemy it presented helped me express my thoughts in a way that everyday verbiage could not. The younger and more immature version of myself, who would lock away his thoughts in a box and hope for the best, could now lay bare the thoughts that haunted him. My inability to face my shortcomings soon became a ballad in my musical experimentation. 

My fears and insecurities no longer crowded my thoughts, allowing me to concentrate wholly on my academia. My fear of emotional vulnerability became the path that led me to an acceptance of myself. With newfound confidence, my ability to focus on studying increased exponentially because I was no longer bogged down by my perceived inferiority; but rather, I was motivated by a desire for improvement over perfection. Learning not to be limited by perceived inferiority but instead focusing on growth has been a major step towards developing a more confident, independent version of myself. Music helped me embrace myself and allowed me to truly feel comfortable in my own skin. With this progression, my mindset towards academic achievement in and of itself changed, manifesting in how I approach my studies and how I let adversity motivate me. 

 

  • I knew I wanted to answer this question from the beginning to demonstrate perseverance and determination. It seems cliche to talk about these characteristics so I wanted to write about a less conventional topic. I ended up choosing to talk about learning the ukulele because it demonstrated that I was not just a student involved in STEM, but that I also had creative outlets to express myself. 
  • I think this response was able to show a more creative side to my person and gave me an opportunity to show reviewers how I am able to grapple with difficult thoughts and complex emotions through music. It also demonstrated that I was able to evolve from an attitude of perfection to an attitude of improvement which is invaluable at the university level. In this essay particularly, I tried to use language that gave me nuance and emotions, giving them a glimpse into the mental struggles I faced up until that point. I wanted to make it clear that I was by no means a perfect person and to show an authentic and  vulnerable side with this essay which, I believe, made it more effective. 

 

Prompt #7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

My Response: “I need more hours. I guess I’ll go.” 

These were the words that resounded in my head when I heard that my Boy Scout troop was attending Relay for Life. I decided to participate in order to obtain the hours necessary  to attain my  Eagle Scout rank. Upon my arrival, I was taken aback. I had crafted this narrative that the event would be ill-attended; but to my surprise, the park was filled with people from all walks of life, eager to contribute. Throughout the day, it was the simple “hello” and high fives from strangers that stuck out to me. 

As the night fell, all activities ceased as everyone joined together to walk silently around the track. There was no need for words. Feeling the warmth of each person, stranger or friend, next to me was enough to appreciate the gravity of being part of this movement. My presence on that path added to the collective body of individuals who were all there to build each other up and ultimately, the community.

This event demonstrated the importance of compassion and empathy in a community. Everyone has the potential to let their hardships consume them, but they also have the potential to use that  experience to grow. Knowing how it felt to be in the presence of a community showed me the significance of meeting the intrinsic needs of people. My personal needs as a cold attendee at the start taught me how essential a warm presence in the community is. Those smiles and high fives were a part of what made the community so welcoming and encouraging, of which I am now a proud supplier. Without these small acts of kindness, the “important” acts lose their meaning. It was not so much what I did that helped my community grow, but rather that I immersed myself into the community. I became part of this group by engrossing myself within the community and joyfully engaging with those around me. I came into the event wanting service hours and left as a part of something bigger than myself. 

 

  • With this question, I wanted to convey how my view of service has changed over time. This question gave me an opportunity to show reviewers that my involvement in service was more than a checklist item for a resume and to give them an example of how I learned and benefited from volunteering in my community. As important as service is, I think showing the motivation behind service can help humanize you in the eyes of the reviewers.
  • I think this essay worked because it showed how my mindset towards service evolved from a superficial activity I did because it was the “right thing to do” to a mindset that emphasized the joy and community that comes with service. The intention of service should be unselfish and communal; coming to adopt this mentality and apply it to my own life was significant because it allowed me to personally learn and grow. It was important that I emphasized this growth to the reviewers in a specific and personable way because this mindset would be a positive addition to a college campus and showed that I am open-minded. It also included a bit of introspection that I believe shows a growth mentality. 

Prompt #8: Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admission to the University of California?

My Response: This past summer, I embarked on a week-long journey to the heart of Skid Row to serve at a rescue mission, a week packed with serving meals and cleaning the facilities. The part that stood out to me the most was walking out on the street, unguarded and vulnerable. I was scared, scared of the people society had taught me to be fearful of. Despite this fear, powered by a boldness that propelled me forward, I ventured off with my partner. One man we talked to stood out in particular: Darius. He told us about his experience with black magic and how it had left him feeling lonely and abandoned. I tried to encourage him to join the mission, but he left and I never saw him again. 

Even at home, Darius remained in the back of my mind. How could I have failed him? As I wrestled with these emotions, I realized that this perceived failure was actually a success. I ventured far beyond the boundaries of my comfort zone in order to help an individual who needed it the most. This step in my personal growth gave me the courage to befriend a homeless man named Bobby at the Metro station. For months, I had avoided Bobby; but after my experience, I approached him and a few weeks later, I had a friend. 

My experience on the rescue mission trip taught me to have courage and take initiative for causes I believe in, to not back down to fear but stand victoriously over it. Whether it is a career in medicine or adjusting to campus life, I am now willing to take the leap to accomplish what I want. I am no longer scared of where life’s path may lead me. The ambiguity of the future is no longer a burden, but a source of excitement that will allow me to go through the doors that are presented to me. I want to make the best out of every situation, and I now have the courage to face the uncertainty of my future. 

 

  • I chose this question because it was the most flexible and allowed me to write about a significant event in my life without any set boundaries. My experience with an unhoused individual did not particularly apply to other questions, and I wanted to paint myself as a person who is willing and able to go outside my comfort zone and as a person who is constantly looking for ways to improve my ability to show empathy for those around me. 
  • Volunteering at a homeless shelter gave me a unique story about a man involved in black magic which resonated with me because of my preconception of unhoused people. This essay highlighted my growth in empathy and in open-mindedness. It showed that I was constantly seeking to better understand the world and to apply this learning to my practical life, rather than just increase my head knowledge. It showed that I had the courage to go outside my comfort zone with excitement and boldness rather than fear and hesitation. 

 

 

Conclusion

In essence, try to capture a different core characteristic that you believe you possess and have exemplified in the past.  Each essay should focus and emphasize a different part of who you are to provide the readers with the most robust version of yourself that four essays can provide. Do not feel like you have to give the “right answer” because, quite simply, there is not a right answer for these essays. You should feel free to express yourself as you, not what you think UCLA is looking for. Good luck! 

 

Written by Nicholas Tien, PathIvy University Ambassador